Do your thoughts wander while you’re having sex? Do you ever struggle to let go of your worries and be present in intimate situations? Stressful lives and psychological anxieties frequently carry the outer world into the bedroom, compromising sexual pleasure.
Difficulty relaxing can lead to issues like lack of lubrication, erectile dysfunction, and anorgasmia. To truly enjoy sex, you need to connect with both your partner and your own body. Going through the motions isn’t nearly as pleasurable as tuning into your body’s rhythms and engaging with your partner. If you can’t relax, your experience might end in disappointment and make it hard to reach orgasm, even though orgasms aren’t the only goal of sex.
Not being able to relax or getting distracted during sex can also strain your relationship. Even if you have sex regularly, your partner might sense that your mind is elsewhere, which can lead to dissatisfaction and relationship issues. While there’s no quick fix, you can develop tools and habits to help you relax during sex.
Below we’ll talk about why it’s acceptable to feel apprehensive at times and how to stay present and relaxed during intimate moments.
Tips to Relax During Sex
Focus on Your Breath
Concentrating on your breath helps reconnect you with your body. This technique applies to all aspects of life, including sex. When your mind starts to wander, bring it back by focusing on your inhalations and exhalations. This grounding practice centres you in your body and enhances your sexual experience.
Communicate Openly
Sex is a very personal act that demands vulnerability. If you are distracted, your spouse will most likely notice. Open communication allows you to communicate your emotions and wants, which helps you stay connected. Tell your partner that you need them to touch or kiss you in a specific way to help you focus. This transparency deepens your relationship and promotes mutual understanding.
Practise Sexual Mindfulness
Sexual awareness allows you to reconnect with your body and relax. Concentrate on the sensations in your body, from head to toe. Pay close attention to how your lover touches you. Describe the sensations with vivid adjectives, such as “My partner’s fingers around my nipples are sending shivers down my body.” This exercise helps you stay focused on pleasure and reduces distracting thoughts.
Take Your Time
Sexual arousal often requires time and the right mindset. Rushing into sex can make it harder to relax and enjoy the experience. Engage in activities that help set the mood, like foreplay or a relaxing bath. Allowing yourself time to transition from daily stress to a relaxed state enhances pleasure and strengthens your emotional bond.
We also suggest incorporating toys to relax more, sex toys can be really helpful in setting you up before sex as they help release endorphins, which are natural stress-busters. When you climax, you create the chemicals oxytocin and serotonin. These hormones are known as the ‘feel-good’ hormones because they are associated with happiness. Regular hormone increases from vibrator orgasms can help you feel less stressed and more positive. Research suggests that 1 in 3 people have at least one toy and 42% of women say they use one on the regular.
Why not start with our High On Love® Sensual Massage Candle? This luxurious candle helps set a relaxing and intimate atmosphere, allowing your partner to give you a soothing massage. The warm oils not only nourish your skin but also enhance the overall sensory experience, creating the perfect prelude to foreplay.
Once you’re both relaxed, you can transition into more intimate activities with some of our customer favourites. Try incorporating our top picks below. These products are designed to heighten pleasure and bring you closer together, making your intimate moments even more special.
Lady and All’s Top Picks to Set the Mood
Doxy Original Massager Purple
Our Doxy Original Massager Purple can set the mood for intimacy by incorporating it into a a romantic environment with dim lighting, soft music, and aromatherapy. Use the massager with sensual oils, focusing on erogenous zones like the neck, shoulders, back, and inner thighs before moving to the clitoris. Communicate with your partner about what feels good, build anticipation with slow, teasing movements, and add personal touches like whispering, eye contact, and gentle kisses. The key is to be present, attentive, and intentional in connecting and enhancing the experience with your partner.
Peachy Mini Wand Massager
Our peachy mini wand massager allows you to experiment with different settings and intensities to discover new sensations. Begin with a low setting and gradually increase to achieve arousal. This massager is also a terrific handbag essential and a great toy to carry along on vacation because it takes up little room.
Gvibe’s Vacuum Clitoris Stimulator
The Gvibe’s vacuum clitoris stimulator is a result of years of development to create the perfect wave device for pleasure, it is an excellent addition to any relationship, especially when aiming to relax during sex. Unlike any other vacuum device, the Gvibe provides unique wave sensations that lead to longer, more intense orgasms, enriching the sexual experience. This massager is ideal for foreplay, allowing couples to explore and heighten their connection, making it easier to unwind and fully enjoy each intimate moment.
The Importance of Aftercare
The time you spend together after sex is very significant. If you fall asleep or rush out of bed and away from your partner after having sex, you miss out on an opportunity to get closer to each other and develop deeper levels of intimacy.
Talking, snuggling, or holding each other after sex validates your relationship and shows your spouse how important they are to you.
This level of intimacy is essential for your relationship and each other’s self-esteem. It also lays the groundwork for future sex that is more connected, relaxing and enjoyable.
